My partner in crime, Anustubh (fondly referred to as the Bong) and me, in our usual ‘after midnight’ discussions about life, struck upon the importance of a “big picture” in life, and how important it is (or it seems it is) to drive us towards something, some goal; to look forward to; something to reinforce in us the hope that things will be better even when circumstances try to persuade us otherwise; something we should tell ourselves every morning and work towards for the days to come.

I’m sure we’ve all had our share of big pictures in life at different points. Of course, when you’re a kid, you don’t really think of them as “big pictures“, but they make you work like a dog. For example, “I’ve got to beat the holy crap out of him man !! ” (whether that’s literally beating him up or in academics is a perpective thing ofcourse … :), but it helps. I’ve always felt that having a competitor has really helped, even though that might be in hindsight. The thought of impressing the fairer sex has also not been rare. It has been a great motivator I would say, heck, people wage wars for them man, poor ol’ me is just talking about his hypothetical “big picture“.

Small things like the above keep you going during adoloscence, a time when emotional, non-practical, issues drive you more than more practical, and technical things. Then
comes the teen phase, when you probably get a grip on the what you might wanna do with life, in a specific area maybe. For me, it started with the ambition of developing a game, hence generating a subsequent interest in Computer Science. That drove me into thinking about the area, working towards the goal, studying the field …. getting all gung-ho and then ofcourse, comes engineering.

I believe, for many & most surely for me, engineering is the time when you give a break to the traditional “big picture” concept, and would rather believe in more mundane things in life, like attending no-good lectures, writing no-good assignments, watching no-good movies, hanging out with good friends but talking about no-good issues, playing no-good games, and eventually realize that the only big picture you ever remotely think about is getting a first class, which surprisingly is not awfully difficult, provided a knack for writing the same thing about 50 times in the same answer hence increasing it’s size hoping (mostly not in vain) that the paper-checker will be as bored or more to check the quality of the answer as you are to write it. The above sentence (probably the longest in my life) pretty much sums up my engineering. Am sure many would disagree, for all those who sympathize with me, right back at ya … :)

After this phase (or rarely, during it), you do get fits of brilliance, where you think of big pictures, that are so damn big, that some months/years down the line you realize that they’re so big that they’re too damn infeasible to even think about. Let me not get into my big pictures during this phase, I intend this particular blog not to be an avenue for me being the butt of (big-picture related) jokes against me for the years to come … :D

The big picture is a concept that doesn’t come easily to many people. I wonder how many of us wake up early morning and are reminded of a goal to achieve; where every small step in your life is towards the same. How wonderful (sometimes I think, how utopian) a concept … but certainly, something to hope. I would give anything for the youthful enthusiasm we used to have when we were kids while embarking on something new; to consider life itself as a sum of parts, realizing & concentrating on each one of them.

So, here I am … sipping coffee, at 5 in the morning, contemplating or rather, wondering about what my next “big picture” in life would be …

What a harrowing time am I having for the last few days !! My courses are getting heavier by the day, worst of all, I am getting dumber by every passing moment. Some new stroke of genius has resulted in me writing my class notes in Hindi. Ofcourse, this is applicable when my pee-wee brain is absolutely incapable of understanding what the professor is so meticulously trying to convey. Subsequently, begin my chronicles, in Hindi, our national language … poems, prose, you say it, I’ve written it ! Today, I wrote an enhanced version of Kabhi Kabhi mere dil me khayal aata hai … needless to say, it was crappy, in hindsight ofcourse.

A very important lesson I’ve learnt in life is NOT to watch movies till 8 in the morning for 3 days at a stretch, when you have 2-3 assignment submissions lined up in the next week. No matter, how gripping the movie is. You might say, “you dumbass, it took so long for you to figure such a basic thing out ?? … “. Well, to give you credit, for the last few days, I’ve been asking the question myself.

We had a career fair some days back, surely, one of the sad experiences of life, atleast from my perspective, which would be similar to the perspective of a person who doesn’t really have a lot to boast about in his/her resume’. There were people all around, some looking for a fitting employer, employers looking for talent, and then, there was me … hoping that some one would be stupid enough to notice me. Surprising that I say this, ’cause you’ve to be larger than the sun to not notice me in a daily-life scenario (relativity of course … ).

Career fairs are, sometimes, humbling experiences for people …. for me, humbling experiences are a daily-life affair in classes, so I should ideally be very comfortable in a career fair. And so I was. Where there were people being asked a million questions at a booth of a certain company, and a paper-pencil test in order to guage suitability, I was being assured that your resume’ would be looked upon, don’t worry man! I stood there for a split second, hoping for a quiz, one of the rare instances, when the lack of a quiz disappoints me. Then there were companies, whose representatives got yawning when I spoke, as if they were descendants of the “sleeping beauty”. Of course, there are always the ones who conclude by saying: “Oh interesting, when you think that can be successfully done, come to my friend here (pointing to another boothmate of his), and we can file a patent …”. Of course, this statement is aptly received by me with a confident gleam of my face, only to realize after a second that I’ve been had for … :) My friends of course, fellow UT people, on the brink of greatness, had a great time. Some blasted every company representative in sight with their trademark confidence, whereas some brought cookies home (of course, these sets intersect).